I believe we have to obey and trust God at all times. But I also know that we are all human who require some form of encouragement to keep doing the right thing.
What am I trying to say? My dear brothers, you need to wake up and help women. Wake up and take your place in our lives. How easy is it for a woman to submit to a man who does nothing else other than remind her that he married her with his money? How submissive would she be to a man who constantly reminds her of his headship in the home?
Hear this; if you are in the habit of reminding your wife and putting it on her face that you are the head of your home, it speaks of one thing; you are yet to become the head indeed. When a man is truly the head of his home, even a little child entering the home for the first time will know that there is order in there. There will be so much peace and serenity in that home.
When you are being piloted by a man who knows how to do the take off and landing, you are relaxed. But when you know that this pilot cannot lead you safely to your destination, there is bound to be panic and chaos. Husband, father, do your children and wife have faith in you? Do they see themselves arriving their destination safely with daddy as the head? Their lack of faith in you could be the reason why they are not submissive to you.
Are you one of those who want to be respected when they don’t even know what it means for one to respect himself? Sir, you don’t earn respect by being bossy and aggressive. Respect flows naturally from people to you when they see that you deserve it. Don’t think your wife respects you simply because she becomes a zombie each time she is around you. I marvel when I see some wives become their real selves in the absence of oga. Sir, don’t fool yourself into believing that you know your wife if you are not her friend. Have you wondered why some women love it when their husband is out of town? Did you know that a good number of women pray for oga to travel and stay away for months?
Some men are selfish to the point that they pamper themselves and do everything possible to look good, but their wife shouldn’t talk about enjoying their life. Men like this often make sure that there is no money with the woman. If he sees her with 20k, he must make sure that it leaves her hand. Oga, God is not happy with you. You can be the chief elder in church, heaven is still very far from you.
When was the last time you appreciated her cooking? My people say that “etoo dike na nke omere, omee ozo” (when you praise a strong man, he does more). When was the last time you praised her for keeping the home in order? The Proverbs 31 woman was constantly praised by her husband. Stop reminding her of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman, look and see that her husband is in the habit of praising her. Your woman needs that oil of praise to keep running effectively.
She doesn’t have a child yet and so you go around misbehaving with your fellow foolish boys. Sometimes when she wants some cuddling from you, you see it as a waste of your precious time and semen; may God have mercy on you. Do you know how helpless she feels? Don’t you know that she depends so much on your encouragement and love to carry on? Are you aware that it will be tough getting pregnant and keeping it when she is under stress? Everybody is on her for a child and you who should be standing by her is now standing against her. Think twice!
My brothers abroad, I know so many of our women are nasty. I know so many get influenced by Oyibo culture when they font even understand how true oyibos behave. But I know that a good number of them were pushed into it by your own attitude. How do you expect a woman to respect you when you contribute nothing to her life? Sure she can get a bedmate who warms her bed if that is all she needs. Even when she never wanted to become a nurse, you forced her into it simply because you want a machine to be vomiting money for the lazy you.
When you took her from Nigeria, you were in the habit of constantly harassing her with your paper. You always threatened to divorce her and stop her from getting her own papers. She was swallowing all your bitter pills just for things to work out. Now she has her papers; what do you think will happen? You are no longer a Nigerian man simply because you are over there and you still expect her to be that cultured Nigeria woman? It takes two to tango bro.
If you fail in your responsibility as a man, please don’t blame the woman. To be a real man, you must provide and protect. If you cannot do any of this and you desire to do it, God sees your heart and your wife knows how much you love her. I know she prays for you to be blessed. I pray that God who sees your heart makes a way for you to become all what you desire to become for your wife. But when you cannot do these things and you are there, even on social media, defending your inadequacy, my brother, some psychological help is necessary.
Mothers, our men are losing it, let us start raising our boys to be real men who know what it means to be a man. To be a man has never been and will never be a day’s job. Just because you have the two nuts dangling between your legs doesn’t mean you are a man; there is more to being a man than just marrying a woman and having children.
Written by Amara Blessing
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