Mid-Week Message: He Is, Because You Are

Recently, I spent time thinking about our relationships and the way things are happening. We now have women all over the place complaining about the inability of the men to run things in the home. 

Men are losing the zeal to be men and make things better for their family. Even when they can afford it, men no longer want to buy things for their woman. They are gradually losing their place to women and I know that this is not God’s plan for our homes.

Women, on the other hand, are beginning to care less what happens in the home and how the life of their husband goes. Women are becoming more selfish by the day and now it’s all about them. Women are now in competition with their man. We no longer see ourselves as the power-house of the home. We have stopped seeing ourselves as the pillar on which our man leans to face the world. We no longer see us as his strength. You call yourself his wife; I know you are. But have you asked yourself what he is going to miss when you are no longer with him? Are you sure his life won’t get better without you? Are you sure you are not that woman who is making him act like a boy instead of being a man?


Here we are complaining about men not being men; Are we giving them the opportunity to be men? When you now feel he shouldn’t be in control; when you now see him as your number one opponent; when you now bother about your own success more than his, what do you think is the end result? When you, a married woman, care more more about your father’s house than your husband and children, what do you think will happen?

He has stopped being the man you want him to be simply because you have stopped being the woman you were created to be. You want him to be the man who rules his world; are you giving him the support he needs to be that man? When was the last time you went on your knees and instead of saying “Father, bless me”, your prayer is “Father, please bless my husband and in return, cause him to love me”?

When was the last time you found yourself worried about his career and progress? When was the last time you showed him that he is your lord? Sarah, called Abraham Lord. Do you listen to him when he talks? Whose advice do you take when you are in need of one? Many of us now listen to the voices of our friends and mothers more than that of our spouse. We have many, so many speaking voices on our head and heart that we are now more confused than ever.

Ladies, we have missed it and that is where our problem started. We need to go back to the drawing board and do it God’s way. We have allowed ourselves to be carried away by the way and style of the world. Materialism has taken the place of God in our lives. We have ignored our spouse and children for the things of this temporal life. Now, you believe you are successful when you get to the peak of your career.

The most successful woman alive is that woman who is a pillar to her husband and a joy to her children. The most successful woman alive is that woman whose children live in such a way that everybody who comes in contact with them says “God bless your mother”. The most successful woman is that woman who still spend hours on her knees interceding for her spouse and children. Stop thinking you are successful simply because you are all over the newspapers and magazines. The only thing that makes sense at the end of it all is family-our children and spouse.

If I may ask; when was the last time you personally served your husband’s meal? When was the last time you cleaned the house yourself? When last did you clean up his mess? When last did you spend your weekend soaking his underwear in Persil and washing them yourself instead of wearing asoebi from one point to the other? When was the last time you had morning and night devotion with your family? Aunty house help has taken over every of your role and tomorrow you will start shouting “house helps are necessary evil”.

You better chase the black goat while it’s still day.
We have left the real thing to be chasing shadows. You will retire from your job someday; you will be too weak to run your business someday, the only people who will carry you when you are weak are your children and spouse. If you fail to carry them now, they may not be there to carry you. One day, you will be looking at the wealth but there will be no one around to make you enjoy that wealth. Think again and go back to nature.

Enough of this “we are equal partners”. Yes, we are partners but someone must be the leader and head for things to run smoothly. I advocate and speak for women’s rights because I was once in a relationship where I was nothing but another piece of furniture and was not allowed to excel. Don’t get me wrong; that’s not what I am talking about. My husband and I are one and because we are taking that ship called marriage to a safe place, someone must be the captain. He naturally, is the captain while I am his co-pilot. The very money I start wanting to be the captain when I know that the owner of the ship has not made me one, there is trouble and confusion. If things must run smoothly in our homes, we must do it the way of the Author of marriage.

Stop joining ignorant and arrogant girls who call themselves women to question the headship of your man. Refuse to take in every thrash you read on social, electronic, and print media just because it’s coming from a woman like you or someone who calls herself a counselor.

Some of them are agents of darkness sent out by the devil himself to ruin and destroy lives and relationships. When someone encourages you not to tell your husband everything, who do you think that person is? Agent of darkness, that’s what he or she is.

When they tell you not to let your husband know what you own and how much you earn, they are out from the pit of hell to destroy you. Why live with him if you don’t trust him? I know there are men who get married to you, not because they love you but because they want some soft landing. Na you fall for am; carry your cross. But how long are you going to live with a stranger?

Let us go back to the Creator’s manual and ask our Maker to teach us His ways. Let women go back and become women to enable our men become what God created them to be. Stop competing with your man; become his pillar and strength. Learn to appreciate whatever your man gives you and never try to compare him with another. He will be the best when you start seeing him as the best. He will be a changed man when you start seeing him as the worst man on earth.

Always speak positive things into his life. When you wake up in the morning, go before God on his behalf. When you are through, walk up to him and call him those things you want him to be. Your words are powerful and they form a greater part of people around you. Whatever you call your husband is what he will be. What you call your children and domestic staff is what they will be.

Finally, you have GOOD SUCCESS and are happier when you see your husband prospering. No wise woman will pray to be blessed above her husband. When I say this, our so called feminists say I am foolish. I have always prayed,” Father, that money you want to give me, please transfer it into the hands of my husband and make him to love me as his own flesh”. I don’t want to be the head over him; I want him to lead while I follow. If you think I am foolish, I want to remain foolish.




Written by Amara Blessing