Whether it’s because of distance or different stages each of you have taken on in life, outgrowing a friend is inevitable, but completely normal. Though we’d like to hold on to ‘Day One’ friends forever, sometimes it’s not possible as we evolve (and as those around us don’t…). We’ve come up with 15 signs that you might be outgrowing a friend, and maybe it will help you make a decision as to whether or not you should cut or keep a friend and try to make things work.
From time to time, folks have the ability to post things to their social media that irk our nerves, despite how much we normally love them. But for this particular friend, if she posted a picture of a paperclip it would cause you severe emotional trauma because ALL of her posts are THAT annoying.
MUTUAL FRIENDS AND FAMILY NOTICE THE DISTANCE
Friends and family who are used to seeing the two of you together end up questioning the status of your friendship. They notice the distance and have been asking you what the problem is. Though you try to convince them that the both of you are cool, just in different places in life, the fact that other people notice shows that things aren’t the same between you.
YOU’VE SUDDENLY LOST INTEREST IN SPENDING TIME WITH HER
We’ve all got separate lives outside of our friendships. It would be unrealistic for someone to expect you to spend all of your free time with your girlfriend. But for this particular friend, even if that was a possibility, you would be reluctant to give her that kind of quality time. Your encounters aren’t as much fun anymore and you feel anxious, bored, or annoyed with girlfriend when you come into contact. You roll your eyes or huff and puff when you see her calling and shoot her a text message instead.
You used to be able to trust her taste in new music and what to watch on TV, but as of late, not so much. She can’t go anywhere without flipping to the Migos and Young Thugga stations on Pandora, but you would prefer music that doesn’t disrespect women in every other verse. She can’t follow the plot on The Walking Dead and you can’t stand her entertainment of choice: Bad Girls Club. Nowadays, it seems like you aren’t on the same street, let alone the same page.
YOU NO LONGER COME TO HER FOR ADVICE
She used to be that go-to-girl when you needed an ear to listen, but now you’d rather not waste your energy telling her any of your issues. Why? Because she either won’t understand, will judge you, or will provide you with ridiculous advice that goes against your values and good sense.
There was a time when she would be the first person to get the news of an awesome announcement, but as of late, she pretty much finds out like everybody else–on Facebook. If you had only a small amount of tickets to give out for a graduation or event of some sort, these days, setting a ticket aside for her would require a lot of deliberation.
SHE HAS ALL THE SAME ISSUES FROM YEARS AGO AND HASN’T CHANGED
Though you and her are the same age, she’s still dealing with issues that you were coaching her through a decade ago. She hasn’t evolved and hasn’t made any progression in years. When you speak to her, you feel like you are talking to your child because she is always in need of direction. While you’ve established yourself and are looking forward to new endeavors, she’s still looking for advice about no good boyfriends and how to re-build credit–for the umpteenth time.
You’re not expecting her to look like someone on the cover of Vogue each and every time she steps out with you, but you’d expect a woman of her age to dress appropriately. She still shops in the junior’s section and won’t rock anything that doesn’t expose some cleavage. She doesn’t even have to be half-naked when she steps out, but everything she wears makes you a little uncomfortable.
In your younger years, you’d find her behavior to be entertaining, charming and refreshing, but as a grown woman, her loud talking and vulgar speech comes off more embarrassing than anything. Her colorful personality has always made her unique, but after a certain age, you feel like she should have developed an off button for certain social situations.
You used to be able to chat for hours on the phone, but now, when she does call, you can’t wait to find an excuse to get off the phone. You don’t really have much that you both can relate to anymore. She is talking about taking her kids to get their shots, and you’re wondering when you will get your next mani-pedi.
SHE MOOCHES OFF OF YOU
She’s constantly asking you for money and she never has her half of anything. She expects you to foot the bill at all your social outings together and is never available to pay you back. Instead of saying that she can’t afford to do certain things from time to time, she says yes to everything and expects you to help her out.
There was once a time when you wanted all of her attention and would quickly question the new group of chicks she was suddenly spending her weekends with. Now, when she posts IG photos of her social outings with a new group of girlfriends who seem to be into all of the same things that she is, you feel relief more than you do jealousy. You’re genuinely happy that she has found people that she can relate to because you’ve done the same.
You can’t help it, but when she’s around you get irritated, annoyed, angry, sad and any other negative emotion that you can think of. She is a genuinely good person with many great qualities, but your interests are too different, and basically, you’ve already grown too far apart.
She doesn’t seem genuinely happy about any of your success. Her demeanor changes to slightly irritated whenever you tell her about your latest accomplishment, but expects support from everyone else when things go well for her. She’s just not that into you it seems.
Source: Opal Stacie (Madame Noire)
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